Why do I push my grief away?

well i feel you on that. but one day it will happen when you will grieve. my father ped away in march of 09 my mother later followed in june of 09 my aunt june of 09 and my grandmother october of 09 and i have not cried or got upset or did anything because i don't know how to feel or act or what to do but one day i was at work and cried like a baby but don't let it stress you god has his way of letting everything come together and you will know